| Why some men sleep with you and then go away | |||||
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- The basics of the situation
- Emotional vs physical relationships
- Know what you want from a relationship
- Do not accept anything less than you deserve
Ever wonder why men suddenly start staying away from you after you tell them about getting into a deeper emotional relationship, even after you've been intimate with each other a few times?
It happens to many women, and it absolutely baffles them why a casual and intimate relationship with a great guy can end as soon as they lay out all their cards. And the more they try to keep the relationship going, the more the situation gets worse. You've probably experienced this before - how he suddenly stops sleeping with you, meeting you, and returning your calls.
Emotional vs physical relationships
What went wrong -- are guys simply jerks who jump you then dump you? Or are all guys simply players who can't stand commitment?
It's easy to point fingers at everyone else but yourself, isn't it? The fact is, you've already made a big mistake by sleeping with him in the first place.
Here's the reason - a guy can easily get into a deep, emotional relationship and THEN settle into a more casual, intimate setup. But turn things around, and the relationship will be doomed to failure from the start. You can't pull a guy into a casual, intimate relationship before settling into a deeper one - guys simply don't work that way.
In other words, you can't base your relationship on a physical level - it's very likely it won't last much longer after you try to take it to a more emotional level. When you and your man settles into an intimate, casual relationship, nothing will trigger his "withdrawal mechanisms" quicker than discussing a deeper relationship.
Know what you want from a relationship
So how do you keep him from withdrawing?
Well, first of all, know yourself and what you want. Most women who fall into this kind of trap make the mistake of sleeping with a man who wasn't "feeling it" for them yet, but did it anyway, thinking that it's what he would want (and consequently, it's what would make him more interested in a deeper relationship). Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way - it only gives him the idea that he's in charge of the relationship.
To avoid this, ask yourself what you want in a relationship. This is the second step: set your standards and requirements, then stick to them. Whatever your standards may be, you'll have to communicate these on your own terms - and sleeping with him would be doing the exact opposite.
Now here's the important part - you need to communicate these standards and requirements to your man before you get more intimate. Doing it after the fact won't work, as you've probably realized by now.
Do not accept anything less than you deserve
Lastly, reject any parts of his behavior that doesn't meet your standards and requirements.
Sure, it's easier to settle into a friends-with-benefits setup with him, since it's laid back and rejection-free, than to tell him your expectations and risk rejection. But remember that this type of rejection is a healthy one - it'll weed out the lousy ones from the good guys. Sometimes, you'll need to have nothing in order to gain everything.
Article credits:
Article by A Aaron.
Find out how to avoid being just a fling to a man.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=A_Aaron
Website: www.datingquestionsforwomen.com
